Victoria Midwifery Care - Deanna Wildeman, Registered Midwife

Birth Stories

Astra ~ Beth ~ Elizabeth ~ Heather ~ Jane ~ Jennifer ~ Jessica
Josie ~ Kristine ~ Marlee ~ Marlene ~ Melanie ~ Shannan

ANITA C

Before I was even pregnant, I had often considered using the services of a midwife. I read some books on the subject, and checked out the Victoria Midwifery Group website. When I found out that I was pregnant, I still hadn’t decided for certain if I would see a doctor or a midwife. I spoke with a few doctor’s offices, requesting a meeting to answer my questions, but none were willing to meet with me unless I was coming in as a patient. I called Deanna and she spoke with me on the telephone for almost an hour, answering my long list of questions. She was supportive and encouraging, and reassured me that whether I decided to go with a doctor or a midwife, was a matter of personal choice. I felt very comfortable with everything she told me, and really liked the fact that my baby and I would receive follow-up care for six weeks after the birth. I made an appointment to meet with her. My husband was a bit wary of me going to see her because he didn’t know anything about midwives and thought it would be safer for me to go with a doctor.

After my first meeting with Deanna, I knew that a midwife would be the best choice for me. As the months passed, and my husband got to know more about midwifery and the whole philosophy behind it, he became more confident about my choice. My family was very supportive of my choice was well. The most frequently asked question from my friends when I told them I was seeing a midwife was, “You’re going to give birth at home?” I found it interesting that most of them didn’t know that you could have a hospital birth with a midwife.

From the time that I knew I was pregnant, I have felt that it was a very spiritual experience. Throughout my pregnancy, time and again, verses from the Bible would pop into my head.

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” - Psalm 139:13-16 (NIV)

My baby was facing my stomach (sunny-side up) for most of my pregnancy, and remained that way until labour day, despite the exercises I did. I ended up gaining almost 40 lbs, which was normal for me, since I was underweight to begin with.

My estimated due date was April 7, 2002, and on April 3^rdwhen I went to the washroom at around 9 pm, I had the bloody show. I panicked and called Deanna. She told me that I should be going into labour either in the next two days, or in a week. I had some cramping and felt bloated.

The next morning was my appointment. Deanna checked me and told me that I was 2 cm dilated, and she could feel the head! After some discussion, I had Deanna do a cervical membrane sweep which would help speed things along if my body was ready to go into labour. Later that evening I continued to have cramping. At 11:45 pm I had a softer bowel movement than usual (more signs!) and by midnight I was having lower backache.

At 12:50 am, I realized that my cramps were coming every 7 minutes. An hour later, my cramps were coming every 3-4 minutes as well as becoming more intense, and I realized that these were contractions! I was fairly calm – I was trying to deal with things as they came up, and didn’t have time to panic.

I woke my husband and we called Deanna, who suggested that I take a hot shower to see if it would stop the contractions and relieve my backache. The hot water felt great on my back and helped with the back pain, but as soon as I got out of the shower, the pain was back and there was no change in the contractions. We called Deanna again and she told us to go the hospital and get in their shower. She met us in the parking lot and the three of us walked into the hospital together, stopping for my contractions, and headed into the Labour and Delivery ward. I remember worrying about whether our dogs had been let outside or not. Deanna reminded me that I should focus on myself and let someone else worry about the dogs.

My husband, Paul called my mother and his parents. I changed into a gown after my shower and got into bed. I developed a slight fever (I’m wondering if it was due to the two very hot showers I had) and had to take some Tylenol. My back labour was getting painful, but counter pressure from Paul pushing on my lower back helped. I tried to walk around in the hallway, but only managed a few steps before I had to stop and head back to our room.

I sipped ginger ale and water throughout the labour, and even ate Jell-O pieces between contractions.

The pain from the back labour was getting very intense, so I asked for the four needles with water to be injected into my back. My mother had to hold my hands and comfort me because I found it to be very painful – much more painful than the actual labour, but it did offer me relief for an hour and a half. At various points of the labour, I felt a very strong urge to push with each contraction because there was so much pressure in my vagina, but I wasn’t allowed to push because I wasn’t fully dilated. Despite all the pain that I was feeling, I remembered that Jesus was crucified on the cross for my sins, and that was a million times worse than the pain I was going through. I thought, “If Jesus could endure the crucifixion, surely I can endure some labour pains!” It also brought me comfort to know that it states in the Bible that childbirth is supposed to be painful. And it helped me to remember that the pain of childbirth is a “good” pain, whereas when we’re growing up, we’re conditioned to believe that pain is a bad thing.

When I was dilated at 5 cm, my water still had not broken yet. I found it difficult, if not impossible to go to the washroom. It was like my body had forgotten how to do it. Deanna had to use a catheter twice to empty my bladder. Then Deanna broke my bag of water and I dilated to 8 cm. At this point, I gladly accepted some Fentanyl to take the edge off of the contractions. Since the edge of my cervix was still inhibiting the baby, Deanna moved it out of the way with my next contraction.

At last it was time to push! My body was feeling the urge to push through my vagina, so that’s what I did initially, but it wasn’t working to get the baby out. It turned out that I was supposed to push from my bottom, like when you’re having a bowel movement. As soon as I figured that out, I was able to make progress with the baby’s descent.

After 3 hours of pushing, I was very tired, but I got my second wind because I was motivated to see what my baby would look like. It was 3:00 pm at this point. The nurse and my mom helped me pull my legs up and I kept pushing (my mom said my face was purple!). It didn’t feel like I had been pushing that long – the length of the entire labour felt shorter than 15 hours. I was just focusing on each moment.

Finally the baby’s head stopped slipping back. I was pushing three times in a row with every contraction, so I would take a breath, push; take another breath, push (you get the idea…). Now the baby’s head came out and stayed out. Deanna told me to stop pushing so she could stretch out the opening. Another few pushes, and the baby’s shoulders came out, along with the rest of his body. Deanna put the baby on my chest. I cried tears of joy and was laughing. Paul looked to see the sex of the baby. It was a boy! Paul was crying, the baby was crying, everyone was cheering. I felt happy, relieved, and grateful all at the same time.

Paul cut the cord and ran out to tell family about the baby.

“A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come: but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world.” - John 16:21 (NIV)

Time of birth was 4:48 pm. I had a minor tear which was great considering that the baby was 8 lbs, 10 oz.

I stayed overnight in a private room in the hospital with my husband. Deanna suggested it so I could get some much needed rest. Part of me couldn’t wait to go home with our baby, but another part of me was afraid. I couldn’t believe that the nurses were going to let us take this helpless little baby home!

Deanna advised me not to have any visitors for the first week so that Theodore and I could bond. The only visitors that were allowed were family who were coming to help out around the house. My mother-in-law took a week off from work to come and look after the dishes and laundry, which was a tremendous help. I had prepared and frozen two weeks’ worth of meals before the baby was born. In hindsight, I would have made a MONTH’S worth of meals! I’m glad that I was firm about no visitors for a week, but after the week was over, I was itching to go out. My pregnancy weight just kept dropping every week, and I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight within a month, give or take three pounds. I think it helped a lot that I was breastfeeding. My body made a lot of milk, so my milk supply was established early on, but after a month, I developed mastitis. When Theodore was just over 6 months old, I had mastitis again. I nursed Theodore until he was 8 ½ months old. If I didn’t have mastitis twice, I may have nursed him longer. It took over a month of trying before Theodore would take a bottle, and about two months before he was weaned from the breast. I developed plugged ducts every few weeks, and when I had mastitis the second time, I had to backtrack and nurse more frequently. Despite all the problems, I’m glad that I chose to breastfeed my baby. Throughout my breastfeeding experience, and from talking and listening to other moms who have tried breastfeeding, I have learned that you need to do whatever works for you. Mothers need all the support they can get with whatever decision they make.

Theodore is now 9 months old. It’s amazing how fast the time has gone by. He has such a happy disposition and is growing so quickly. We are truly blessed. Everyday has been a learning experience for us – just when you think you have something figured out (frequency of feedings, naptimes), then it gets changed again. Despite all the reading I did before and after Theodore was born, I’ve discovered that there is no one correct way to do things. Deanna has told me many times, “You and the baby will learn what’s best for you together.”

It is so difficult to put into words the range of feelings that you experience once you have a child. It’s one of those things that you need to go through in order to truly understand.

My mom and husband are so glad that I decided to see Deanna, and we tell anyone who will listen what a positive experience it was for us. My older sister decided to see Deanna based on my experience and is due on January 22, 2003!

Here’s to future challenges!

- January 6, 2003

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